yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
