Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
