Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i out mim tonsoeep
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