I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
