booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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