Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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