oh god the rape fog is back!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize