I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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