I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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