kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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