wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
