now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
