Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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