Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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