nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
