"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We are two peas in an std pod
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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