careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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