Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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