i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
