This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
