I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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