so explain again why im purple
no
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
