i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
