Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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