Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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