Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
