those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
