Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
