How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
