Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
