Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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