after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
