its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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