I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
