so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
