called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
