I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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