how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
