p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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