does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
