3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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