you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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