He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
