know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
