Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
