Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
