Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
