she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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