That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
