i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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