I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
