I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
